Costumes & Giggling Fits

Never have I felt that my strength is not my own as after the completion of a test at BYU. My entire life I’ve struggled to remember facts & names & dates. It has always taken a trigger to bring it back. I can study for hours, days, my whole life, & yet forget something I just viewed or heard the second I stop concentrating on it. I felt the effects on my mission especially, being introduced to hundreds of people a day. So many times someone would state their name & I forgot it right then & there. I cannot tell you how frustrating that’s been to me, but every time I come out of the Testing Center, I have to stop in awe of the things that I managed to remember. Friday I spent about 8 hours straight studying for my History 376 test. Just minutes before I was to take it I tried to review with a coworker & I drew a complete blank. What was that man’s name? The Cold War?? What’s that? I was so sure I was going to absolutely, without a doubt not be able to recall anything, but I did, just as I always do. I can’t explain it. It’s just there, in clarity. I always come out of the Testing Center filled with gratitude & in utter humility. I know my own strength as I know my failings & I take no credit for my memory. It is pure testimony to me that it IS by grace we are saved after all we can do :)

This year there was no debate as to what I would be for Halloween. I’m a thug, a gangsta, all the way. It took me by surprise how easily I slipped into character. A sideways cap, bling of the Lord’s Supper, some Fubu shoes, genuine grill, a Run DMC shirt, pants below my hinny with my “Benjamin” boxers hanging out, & the out came the attitude, the verbage of a streetwise cracka. I was tight for our ward party Saturday.

Today was the first time ever that I sang “There is Sunshine in My Soul” & it just so happened to be true. Church was so stinkin’ uplifting! I feel completely motivated to go out there (wherever “there” is) & change the world. “We BELIEVE IN Christ, yeah, but do we BELIEVE Christ when it comes to applying His principles in our lives?” asked one of the speakers in Sacrament meeting. “Well, I better,” I thought. I’m working on it.

“Behold, verily, verily, I say unto you, ye must watch & pray always lest ye enter into temptation; for Satan desireth to have you, that he may sift you as wheat. Therefore ye must always pray…”
- 3 Nephi 18:18