Food for thought....ok, maybe just the thought

Today I have the stomach virus of death. Food is not my friend right now. Ugh.

On a more positive note: I learned some very insightful pieces of information this beautiful snow-laden day.

In marriage prep (yes, in fact, I am taking a marriage preparation class & I love it!), we were discussing the importance of personal security as a factor in marriage readiness. My teacher discussed the concept of “Amae,” which is the innate need & desire within each of us to depend on & feel connected to other people. Our true nature, said Dr. Carroll, is as a relational being! Why did I not put 2 & 2 together before? We cannot completely define ourselves outside of our relationships because we ARE NOT complete outside of our relationships. Therefore, if we want to develop ourselves, we must develop meaningful & lasting relationships. In fact, as Dr. Carroll stated, a mark of a maturity is in allowing yourself to be vulnerable enough to admit your desire for companionship. When he said this it made me think back on all the times that people have asked me, “Are you dating anyone right now?” “No,” I would say, “but, I’ve got so much going on right now that I wouldn’t have time for a relationship anyway,” or “No, but I’m fed up with men right now so it doesn’t matter.” But it does matter. It has always mattered. It will always matter. I, just like every other human being, hate being alone. It is difficult to see all of my friends marrying off & having children, but on the same token, I know that my time is coming (one of these days), so I don’t worry too much about it more than to think that if ___________ is what I need in a relationship, then I had better be becoming ___________ myself & looking for it in other people.

On the topic of recognizing our own worth, Dr. Carroll gave us the example of Antiques Roadshow. I used to love watching that show with my parents. It astounded me every time how much some people were willing to pay for what looked to me to be a worthless piece of junk, but that was precisely the point he wished to bring out. “Regardless of the condition of the item,” he said, “the value, when all is said & done, is solely determined by the price someone would pay for it.” Now think about how much someone was willing to pay for you? Tattered & torn & broken, every single one of us & yet the Savior was willing & did pay an infinite amount to purchase our freedom from sin & the sting of death. “Why would he do that,” one might ask? Because our worth is infinite. Dr. Carroll explained that so many people confuse worth with worthiness. Worthiness in our mortal state is variable, but worth is unchangeable. No matter what happens to me or I let happen to me in this life, I am still a daughter of God. I still have endless potential. No one can take that away from me. No one.

“But why would you do this for me?” - Because I love you.

“But it doesn’t seem fair.” - That’s right. It’s not fair at all - it’s merciful. It is, after all, a gift

“But how can I possibly deserve such a gift?” - Don’t be silly. You can’t. You don’t. This gift is offered because I love you & want to help you.

“But how can I repay you?” - There you go again. Don’t you get it? You can’t repay me, not you or all the billions like you. Gifts of this magnitude can never be repaid. For what I’ve done out of love for you, you can only love me back, and seek to become what I am - a giver of good gifts.
- Stephen E. Robinson, Believing Christ