I am the tortoise

The world around me has taken off in a ridiculously fast-paced sprint. Jetting in & out of classes and up & down the stairs. Quick! We've been dating for 2 months. Let's get married! Quick! We're 21. Let's hurry & have 10 children before we're 30!Bah! I can barely keep up with my school assignments.

Megan once told me I moved at a slower pace than the rest of the world. I didn't really believe it until now. I thought I was just as capable as the next person at moving at the pace of the corporate world, but alas, I am not.

Too often I stop to just take in what I have right now, & undoubtedly am knocked on my face each time by the enormity of it all. Too often I get caught up in perfecting the details so the whole will be likewise.

I can't skim a reading. I want to learn it! I can't half-heartedly do anything. It eats at my soul.

That is the great quandary of a college student. I want an education. I need an education, but it is not suited to my learning style. I endure & turn in half-hearted papers & take tests on materials that I didn't get around to reading even half of. Bit by bit it tares (pun intended) me apart. It is half the of the reason why I'm 24 years old, only half-way done with my undergraduate degree & nowhere near marriage.

I'm not complaining about my situation. It is inevitable, I suppose. I write this simply to say, I wish there was some way I could slow down & simplify, but it is what it is. Therefore, my plea is only, in the words of Vivian Bearing, "Give me the full dose, the full dose - every time."