Apparently I've taken up talking in my sleep.
"Go away....Go home....Just let me sit,"
were my words last night, according to my roomie.
I have no idea what I was referring to or to whom I was talking.
I find that a bit disturbing.
How long has this been going on? What have I been saying?
Good thing I'm pretty much an open book & have no secrets to hide.
Shay said yesterday, "It's funny, I always know exactly what Jenny's thinking when she walks through the door." It's true too. You definitely don't have to be a mind reader to figure me out & yet some people have the audacity to call me untrustworthy & manipulative & mess up my entire psyche.
It's been almost a year since those cursed words were spoken & yet I still feel the sting of them on a regular basis. With every friendship I establish I wonder if it's going to end in such a horrid manner - abruptly, without explanation, and without hope of reconciliation.
I let down my walls & was ransacked. It doesn't make me very excited to repeat the process. There is a part of me just waiting to be pummeled. I am braced for defeat. I expect to be disappointed, and I am never proven wrong because I set myself up for failure. That's it...I set myself up for failure....Why did I not see this before?
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