Reap While the Day Lasts

It's true. I've focused far too much on what I haven't done in the past & what I'm lacking in right now & not enough on what I want to become. Elder Holland taught me that yesterday. "Faith trusts that the future has good things in store for us," he said. Oh...well, I guess I forgot that one for a while.

So WHAT IS IT exactly that I would like to become? I'm not certain I know all of the specifics right now, but I AM CERTAIN they will come in time. Here is what I do know:

I want to have more confidence in my abilities.
I want to be freed from the burden of worry
& overcome the obstacle of fear.
I want to be more attuned to the needs of others
& less attuned to myself.

"With the power of conviction, there is no sacrifice."

I want to KNOW
that I am always engaged in a good cause -
always at the right place, at the right time,
doing exactly what I should be doing.

I want to be a wife & a mother, but before any of that comes along,
I want to make sure that I am PREPARED
to fulfill those callings adequately,
for I know that they are the most important I shall ever hold.

I want to approach each day as an opportunity to further the kingdom of God, & use it as such.

I can see myself drastically changing in the future, not in one giant leap, but minute by minute & day by day. My experiences of today further reassured me of this. I went to the doctor for my six week checkup for being on Glucophage. She said everything seems to be going as it should. I've lost 6 lbs. I have a little more energy, but more importantly, I've started a pattern of living which will eventually lead me to health. I won't get there today. I won't get there tomorrow, but as what is natural for me becomes abnormal & as I fight against the grain, I will get closer one salad, one sit up, one soy yogurt at a time. It's finally sinking in that for everything that matters, there is no quick fix.

In the future, I think it best that I write more specifically & less abstractly. What am I doing each day to become more Christlike? What have I learned today that strengthened my testimony just a little bit more? What happened today in general?

I'll tell you what happened today. I read D&C 4,11, & 12 for scripture study & it blew my mind!

"Give heed to my word, which is quick and powerful, sharper than a two-edged sword, to the dividing asunder of both joints and marrow." -D&C 11:2

"And now, verily, verily, I say unto thee, put your trust in that Spirit which leadeth to do good, yea, to do justly, to walk humbly, to judge righteously; and this is my Spirit...which shall enlighten your mind, which shall fill your soul with joy." -D&C 11:12

Such simple/basic/fundamental truths, & yet for a moment I forgot. How grateful I am that repentance is real. How grateful I am to know without doubt that people can change (minute by minute & day by day :) through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.