Lately

"There is...this analogy between the claims of our religion & the claims of...war: neither of them, for most of us will simply cancel or remove from the slate the merely human life which we were leading before we entered them"
-C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory, pg. 52

I read this a couple of weeks ago in one of my English classes, and I just can't quit thinking about it. This month will mark six years since I joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and as I think back on all of the changes that have occurred in me since that time, I realize in essence that I haven't really changed that much. I still get up every day & eat breakfast, brush my teeth, & go to school and/or work. I still love music & literature & movies although my tastes have been refined a bit. I still have moments & days when I'm angry or sad or just don't feel like getting up out of bed or seeing anyone of the human species, but I think that's OK. This is, after all, a mortal experience. We are supposed to be effected by our surroundings, to be passionate about life & subject to the ill-effects of limited scope. All of this just serves to strengthen our dependence on the Immortal One. As we realize day by day that we truly have no control over anything but our own actions & even those can be controlled by circumstance if we allow them, we come to see how much we need to make sure we're under the direction of the One who does have things under control. This semester I've felt weak & I've felt sad & angry & burdened & lonely (thankfully intermixed with a little bit of blissful & overjoyed & grateful), but more than anything, this semester I've just felt human.